Thursday, June 7, 2012

The Last Unicorn

I embarked on an adventure a couple weeks ago where I watch this movie called The Last Unicorn. I'd never seen it, heck I never even knew it existed until Kelsey mentioned watching it again a while back. She warned me this movie was weird... VERY weird, but I had already hit play so here I go.


1. Unicorn's voice
My first reaction: WHAT IN THE?! Definitely a creepy voice. What is that. Why does it sound like that? That doesn't sound dainty, or magical, or awesome. It sounds disgustingly creepy. Blegh, this is gonna be a long movie.


2. Theme Song/ First Song
Really? I swear this song will be stuck in my head for the next 5 days. UGH. 


3. Butterfly
I would swat that bug flat in a second. Pickle-faced? Did he really just say pickle-faced? What is going on? 


 4. Witch and Gang
How does the unicorn sleep through their loud takings? Seriously now. And why was she just sleeping by the road? Naive. Ew  and all their creepy little freak show animals. Especially the harpy. No me gusta. 


5. The Tree- you know which one
What. Is. Happening. Who thought of this? Why? 


6. Unicorn Girl
Is she naked? Why is no one offering any clothes. A coat. A shirt. Something. Gracious that's no good.  Also, ungrateful little girl. 'OH NOOO I'm a human, I can feel my body dying!!' Oh please. Calm down. And singing unicorn voice is odd and very vibrato-y. Make it stop.


7. Prince Boy
Oh my. I smell a romance starting.  How will it turn out!? 


8. Pirate Cat
"purr. purr. do that. that be nice." Are you kidding me? Why is there a pirate cat? And how come this middle-aged lady can talk to all these different creatures? 


9. Skeleton
I'm 72 minutes in and I just thought to myself, is there a point to all this? Oh looks like we got ourselves a wino skeleton. WOW. This just gets better and better. Oh and he blushes. Makes sense. 


10. "I love who I love"
Pretty sure that is illegal. Everywhere.Some of these undertones are just too far.


Moral of this movie: Unicorns are pansies. Out of the hundreds of unicorns that were chilling in the ocean they couldn't decide to kick some red bull butt? No. It took one confused heart broken unicorn. 


And they couldn't have done it any creepier. 

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